Spreading hope during the holidays
December 20, 2017
“When you find out you have ovarian cancer, you get to thinking about all the ‘what ifs.’ What if I had gone to the doctor earlier? What if I had been more emphatic when I knew something was wrong?” says Barb Vervaeke who was diagnosed with Stage 3C ovarian cancer. “My first year, when the holidays rolled around, I sat waiting for the other shoe to drop, just reeling.”
That was nearly 18 years ago. Despite being diagnosed with advanced ovarian cancer, Barb is in good health and there is no evidence of the disease.
During treatment she was deeply moved by the kindness of her friends and family. Knowing that this time of year can be difficult for people coming to terms with a diagnosis, Barb has some words of advice for those who know someone living with ovarian cancer.
Barb, her husband Wayne, and their grandchildren
“If you have it in your heart to do something, just do it,” Barb says. “She may say something like ‘I’m doing just fine’ or “I’m managing well,’ but be practical and realistic. Show up ready to help and if it’s a bad time, at least you’ll have tried.”
Throughout Barb’s treatment, loved ones pitched in to help with chores. A friend once showed with a scrub bucket wanting to wash the kitchen floor. Family members cleaned the basement from top to bottom. Seeing that Barb was losing weight, women from her church bought her new outfits to wear to appointments. Another woman shared two of her suits so that Barb had something to wear to a wedding. Her in-laws also made a point of coming to the house every week with homemade pizza.
While there were times Barb couldn’t bring herself to eat, their companionship and efforts lifted her spirits. She also received materials and information from Ovarian Cancer Canada to help navigate treatment and next steps in living with the disease.
Despite the time that’s passed since Barb was diagnosed, recollections of her emotional journey still surface every now and then. But she continues to attend a local support group, where her perspectives often bring a sense of optimism.
“Women will say to me, ‘You give me hope.’ And if offering someone hope is the only reason I’m still here all these years later then I better make sure I keep doing it!”
These days Barb provides support to people with special needs. She also makes time to volunteer with Ovarian Cancer Canada, sharing her personal story with people in her community, as well as the next generation of health professionals and scientists.
“For anyone who has been touched by ovarian cancer, my wish is that this never had to be,” says Barb. “I really wish this disease wasn’t part of our lives. Of course, research is the only way we’ll get there.”
That’s why Barb donates to Ovarian Cancer Canada.
In addition to funding vital research, your gift this holiday season helps provide support to women and families who are living with ovarian cancer, while increasing awareness so that more Canadians are inspired to take action against this disease.
Please donate generously at ovariancanada.org/holidays.
Barb and Wayne